Falling Short of Reason

Ten bells peel, weeping, whilst life slips from my reach.
In time, I have come to forget how to live.
Shake me from this stupor, as tragic, I have become.
My facsimile draws the breath that should be mine.
This crumbling façade lies strewn around my feet, yet not one soul the wiser.
Do I want this life?
Or by my actions, have I already forsaken it?
Perhaps, it has forsaken me?

I reside now, in the shell that I made for myself, when I used to dream
Long before I learned to mourn
Tired eyes awash with incredulity; hiden behind a fixed gaze
Emotionless, this face sees fit to hide me.

Imprisoned by my apathy, I fall short of reason
Seeking to find fault with life, rather than the individual
Instead I breathe the poisoned air of hatred
In turn, condemning me to further my guilt
As I seem unwilling to be me.

Yet one act of kindness can be enough to rouse me
A beam of light cutting a swathe through the darkness
I sense that my soul begins to swell, seeing fit to greet like with like.
A kindred spirit, not content to hide behind the curtain of doubt
Courageous enough to act without knowledge of reward

Yet again, I have purpose.
If just to bring positivity to the front of ones mind
Though one grain of sand is soon lost, in an ocean of doubt, as the dark envelopes this glimmer of light
My pain reaches new heights as I come to realise another is lost to the dark
I regress once more to retread my steps, well worn, as I have made this trip many times.
Oh would that you were willing to walk by my side?